As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
