This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
