Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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