I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
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All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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