I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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