He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Randomize
