garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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