Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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