i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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