broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Randomize
