I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
cat food counts as protein by the way
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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