I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
