What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
