Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
