you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
