where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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