Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
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I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Use "feeling words"
Yay
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But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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