Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
