have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
