My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
