They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
BRING THE BAGELS
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
