i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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