Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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