Someone shit on the floor
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
