I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
