What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
