she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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