uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
