Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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