I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize