I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
