So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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