All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
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