i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize