I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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