I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize