I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
