She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
