obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
This is the high leading the old right now
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
