the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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