im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
dude. I can hear the air.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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