I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
