he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I currently don't understand fingers.
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