You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize