So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
