just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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