You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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