Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
