just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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