I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
