you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
