what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just want nice things and good sex
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
