Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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