I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
