She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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